Want our Youth to be Accountable? Show them What It Looks Like
In my teen life coaching practice I hear it over and over again, “Why can’t he/she take responsibility for their actions?; everything is always the other person’s fault”.
Our youth blame…
- Their teachers for their bad grades
- Getting fired because their boss is an idiot
- Or, fail to do just about anything because it was everyone else at fault, not them.
Frustrating to say the least. It is challenging to get through to these kids that they need to take personal responsibility for their actions.
But wait. Wait a minute.
It doesn’t appear that anyone seems to adhere to the age old value of personal responsibility.
What happened to the tried and true values of honesty and responsibility our grandparents adhered to. They seemed to hold integrity in the highest regard. “My word is my bond” or “a handshake is good enough for me” exemplifies the values of trust, of integrity, and accountability.
Somewhere along the way we, as a society, have lost that. And we can’t blame our youth if they live what they experience. We can’t expect them to know any difference when we embody a culture that promotes excuses and forgiveness for gross negligence. What happened to the days when people took the hit and stood up to be accountable for the mistakes they made?
Our Current Financial Meltdown
Take for example our current financial meltdown. Perhaps I missed something but during the whole crisis, I didn’t once see the culprits step forward and admit wrong doing or, at the least, express some regret for their contribution to the crisis. Excuse me, have you heard one of them say they are sorry?
If they did admit guilt or remorse, I didn’t hear it. Oh, I heard a lot of excuses and justification but never a notion of accountability. (Sound familiar?) No, they sat back and waited for the government to “bail” them out. I kept waiting for the financial word to step in and be proactive about solving the problem. I anticipated the creative financial minds that schemed up the sub prime loans to step up and take some responsibility by suggesting some solutions.
It never happened.
I was amazed that the CEOs of these large corporations didn’t do what small business owners do every month, pay their bills before they pay themselves. I heard plenty of side-stepping rationalization from government officials and corporate executives when confronted. Put them in t shirts, blue jeans, and give them long, bushy hair and they sound just like the responses we get from our teenagers when confronted.
How do we expect our adolescents to learn the importance of personal accountability when we embrace corporate irresponsibility without consequences? The financial world seems to have taken a position of being “entitled” to government intervention. They have, without much regret, felt quite comfortable to have someone else correct their ills.
A bailout! Sound familiar?
How often have you felt you bailed out your child for some unfortunate consequence that they were unable or “unwilling” to remedy?
We are at a crucial point in our history.
I believe this financial crisis is somewhat of a blessing. It represents an adjustment of our values. Unfortunately, like our kids, we as a society have a difficult time making good decisions unless we are forced to. We have gradually over time embraced self-embellished notions of entitlements where we truly believe it is reasonable to extend ourselves into a mortgage we cannot afford, run up the credit card beyond our ability to pay, drive the fancy car, pay exorbitant salaries to movie stars, professional athletes, and CEOs, forgive politicians for being dishonest, allow insurance companies to exclude vital coverage, put entrepreneurialship over education, and forgive the ills of large corporations while small business bankruptcies are on a rise.
Perhaps these coming years of doing without might force us to look at what is important. We might just return to values of family, justice, personal accountability, doing what is right vs. what is profitable, and taking responsibility for choices we make that move us forward with integrity. It takes a strong man to accept failure; it takes a stronger nation to demand change.
The time has come. We owe it to our children.
———
Mark Hughes is a parent and teen life coach and founder of The Karma Institute. Mr. Hughes holds workshops and speaks nationally on the topics of parenting teens, hiring Millennials, divorce recovery, and overcoming adversity. He can be best reached through the contact page.
Tags: financial crisis, mark hughes, Millennials, parenting a teen, teen responsibility